good friday

tonight we had a service in st. anne's church in the old city. this church is incredibly beautiful. it was built to be intentionally asymmetrical, with designs on one side not quite matching those on the other. because of its arched stone ceilings, it has a seven-second echo.

the service started with singing, which sounded really cool because of the echo. our director stood and said a few thoughts about good friday, and then we participated in communion. afterwards our attention was directed towards seven lit candles at the front of the church. there were two or three verses read or quoted for seven stages of good friday, and after each section was read, one candle was extinguished. this continued until Jesus gives up his spirit, and the last candle was extinguished. we left the church in silence.

when i was young, i never understand why good friday was called "good". it didn't seem good at all, to me. a few days ago student here at JUC told a story about a discussion he had had with a muslim. this man, who was for all intents and purposes trying to encourage my friend, reassured him that "it is ok, Jesus didn't really die." but what neither myself as a young child, nor this man understood was that without Jesus dying, there is no true life. i still don't like it. i wish i could not believe it, but i am stuck. all i can do is be grateful.